Franz Kafka, The Diaries of Franz Kafka: 1914-1923
Of all the shitty things I could do.
At the end of the day, of all the people I could hurt, I’m the one who has to around me on a regular basis.
So I’m just hurting everybody else. And I’m hurting myself.
I don’t know if I will ever get better. I doubt it
Hi, I turned 31 today. Birthdays make me sad. I was looking back on how pointless this whole year was and how little I had accomplished. And for some reason I don’t feel so bad this year. I’m assuming its because it probably hasnt been a great year for most people. Although i would say most people in aus have done significantly better than me, but that okay, life isn’t a fucking competition
So here is a note of some of my achievements and failures in the past year, some big, some small. I have spent the past 12 months feeling like I have done nothing but tread water. But maybe just maybe, all of the little things mean something when you add them all together.
1. Purchased a drum kit
2. Took drum lessons for a little bit, didn’t get much better but still plan to improve
3. Sunk a significant amount of time into learning to speak Spanish. Got a tiny bit better. Purchased Spanish text books and got an online tutor.
4. Had my best friend ask me to be her maid of honor
5. Saw an old friends wedding
6. Caught up with a few friends i hadn’t seen in years
7. Still have so many people to catch up with i still haven’t seen
8. Put on a significant amount of weight
9. Joined a gym
10. Made a few new friends
11. Spent quality time with family
12. Worked a terrible job, at a terrible company, for Terrible money for an entire year…didn’t kill anybody.
13. Quit smoking (okay we are only 9 days in on this one….probably a bit soon to call)
14. Visited Tassie, South Australia, NSW and regional Victoria
15. Only went to 1 live show…but it was Frenzal Rhomb and they played Disappointment so it was kinda the best moment ever
16. Didn’t hit the century. 1 more for the win. Fuck this is taking a long time
17. Did a lot of house sitting, hung out with a lot of cats
18. Didn’t save any money whatsoever
19. Changed home loan providers
20. Got excited by new books, purchased them, read the first chapters, plan to continue reading them at some point
21. Wasted a significant amount of time playing merge dragons.
22. Dropped a significant amount of money in the pokies and tatts lotto (because you gotta risk it to get the biscuit)
23. Watched so so so much tv. This sounds like a negative one but actually I love TV.
24. Changed from apple tv to Google chrome cast
(i really wanted to list 31 things, but I’m currently sitting at 24, really clutching at straws)
25. Didn’t get covid (that I’m aware of)
26. Started doing meal prep for my grandmother
27. Tried to donate blood for the first time, failed. Will try again soon actually thanks for the reminder
28. Wishes i was still traveling
29. Played golf s couple of times
30. Yelled at Scott Morrison through the TV a lot
31. Went on a walk that one time even though I was hungover because i promised Chelsea we would do something.
Fuck. That was really difficult. It really was a nothing year. I’m exactly were i was this time last year, just a few kgs heavier. I’ll try and do better this next 12 months. Shouldn’t be difficult
